💛Three Years Later - Part 2: Healing Takes Time

Writing in the first person about my own life can feel a little uncomfy for me. Sometimes it feels self-indulgent. So I don’t do it often. But every once in a while I share something personal because it helps me sort things out - and sometimes it ends up helping someone else too.

So here we go.

When I started my business 13 years ago (she turns 14 in July!), I made a quiet decision. I would write my thoughts and ideas as a way to connect with people. No big marketing strategy. I just wanted to build a small circle of people who cared about health, movement, and supporting each other.

This is Part 2 of a post I wrote after my divorce and the weight loss that followed.

Quick recap: I divorced after a 21-year marriage three years ago. During that time, I lost 15 pounds in 15 days. At the time, I didn’t fully understand what was happening in my body or the impact the stress and adrenaline would have on my body image and emotions.

Now I do.

Three years later, that weight came back and my body returned to its normal place. Intellectually, I understand exactly why the weight loss happened and why it returned. But if I’m honest (which I always try to be), there was still a small voice inside me that felt like I had somehow failed.

Body image is tricky like that.

Because of the work I do, I talk about bodies every day - strength, hormones, food, sleep, movement, recovery. I love this work so, so much. But let me be clear - I’m not the “ideal” here. I’m just a girl who tries to get eight hours of sleep, drinks a lot of water, moves her body until she sweats most days, goes to therapy, and cheers the hell out of other people. I also love good food, good drinks, and being merry.

The other day someone said to me, “You are one of the bounciest people I’ve ever met.” At first I laughed because I’ve always thought of myself as pretty chill - like the quiet smoker in the corner type. But the more she described what she meant, the more I understood. I am positive. I do bounce back. I come by it naturally. You should see both of my parents in a room together. Joyful!!!

Here’s the truth though - I became a trainer in part because I have always had to work on my own relationship with my body. And I probably always will. Body image - and maybe a little bit of body dysmorphia - may just be part of my lifelong work. But today, three years after my world turned upside down, I feel more comfortable again in my own skin, at my normal weight.

Three years.

That’s the part I want to say out loud. Healing takes time. Sometimes a lot more time than we expect. 

But in these past three years I’ve gained something much bigger than a number on the scale.

My team is strong and thriving.

My children are flourishing in ways that make my heart explode with joy.

My relationship with my ex is exactly what I hoped it could be - we are friends and we co-parent like rockstars.

I’ve overcome a lot. And today I feel incredibly grateful for where I’m standing.

I opened Part 1 talking about a little girl standing next to her friend in bikinis, noticing for the first time that her belly was rounder. When I look at the photo I’m sharing today with this post, I see that same little girl a couple of years later. She’s six years old - bright, open, hopeful, and completely full of possibility. By then the comparisons had already begun, but they hadn’t taken over yet. She was still mostly just a kid - curious, joyful, and wide open to the world.

I look at her and I think…that’s the girl I’m still trying to be.

Hopeful.

Kind.

Open.

Loving.

These past few years have also taught me something important. Bodies change. Hormones shift. Life knocks us sideways sometimes. But strength isn’t just about muscles or numbers on a scale. It’s about resilience. It’s about kindness. It’s about getting back up and continuing to show up for your life.

If any of this resonates with you - if you’ve ever had a complicated relationship with your body - please know you are not alone. This stuff is hard. But we keep going. We move. We drink our water. We support each other. And little by little, we learn to feel at home in our own skin again.

Maybe the work isn’t changing who we are. Maybe it’s just finding our way back to ourselves.

Let your SoulShine, pretty please,

Jode xo

SoulShine Schedule

Sign-ups $15

Drop-ins $18

Monday: HIIT @ The Rec + Zoom - 8:15-9:15 am

Tuesday: Power Pilates @ The Rec + Zoom - 8:15-9:15 am

Wednesday: Cardio Dance @ The Rec + Zoom - 5:15-6 pm

Thursday: PiYo @ WAC + Zoom - 12-1 pm

***Friday: No HIIT***